Sex On The Beach
May 11th, 2009
Hair of the Dog is Cookthink’s Monday morning cocktail column by Rob Chirico, the author of the Field Guide to Cocktails. Read more about Rob here.
On a recent night behind the bar, four customers came in and three immediately ordered drinks. As I waited for the last, a woman, to order, her husband said that he would ask for her because she was too shy. The request was for Sex on the Beach. Attempting to break the ice, so to speak, I alluded to the various recipes for the drink and unwittingly replied, “There are many ways of doing it.”
That not only broke the ice, but shattered it to bits. Clearly such insipid drinks are not so much the product of a high-minded mixologist attempting to create a fabulous cocktail, but rather by a prurient and puerile booze-tender whose primary intention is to see the faces of his customers when they ask for them. The intention of these curiosities is almost strictly double entendre — “I’d like a Screaming Orgasm, if you please” — and this is testified to by the simple fact that these drinks usually have the palatability of bilge water.
Naturally, as it is with real sex, these drinks come with their risks. The generally sweet, but seriously potent quaffs literally go down so easily that multiple Orgasms will often lay the young imbiber out prone for the wrong reason. Joseph Scott and Donald Bain in The World’s Best Bartender’s Guide give the recipe for the variant Sleazy Sex on the Beach as follows, “Add 1 ounce of Grand Marnier, but only if you’re feeling particularly wasteful and have little respect for Grand Marnier.”
Food Affinities: A big bowl of party mix before, and anything in the fridge after, would probably do it.
Recipe: Sex On The Beach (Cookthink)
